.tingting's story.

MY NEW BLOG WEBSITE!

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 15:50:00 +0000

Link me!!!
BOOKMARK ME!!!!
Or whatever!
Haha.
Finally I have stepped out of blogger and into WORDPRESS.
I am sorry blogspot! =[
It is due to consecutive failures of posting a proper post.
No photos could be uploaded here too.
I had enough of this nonsense.
By the way,
this concludes as my last post in blogspot.
Sad but no choice =[

SO,
PEEPS!
Follow me to.......
http://amourparfume.wordpress.com/
This is my new link. =]
Trying to cope with my new blog.
Anyway,
no worries.
I had imported all my previous posts into wordpress. =)
Once again.
FOLLOW ME AND LINK ME BACK AGAIN!!!

http://amourparfume.wordpress.com/
http://amourparfume.wordpress.com/
http://amourparfume.wordpress.com/

I will see you peeps there! =]

Update.. UP! =]

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 08:19:00 +0000

Oh!!
I love UP! =]
Last night I went to watch UP 3D with my sister till 1 plus am.
Totally a MUST SEE movie for me.
I love the storyline and the graphic.
Very cool.
Haha.

Too bad.
Blogger is still having some problems with the posting section I guess.
Long weekend again.
Happy Birthday Singapore in advance!
44th Birthday.
That's nice =]

Oh ya.
Peeps,
thanks for the concern for all these while.
I am a lot better now.
I am slowly adapting to the way I am now.
I feel much happier and not that heavy hearted anymore.
Hope that things will be much more better in the future!!!
Haha!

ALL PRESENTATIONS DOWN!!
Super Duper happy.
No debarment for me this semester!
So I am left with my final major exams and the remaining attachment.
I shall do it with grace and not to take any more Medical Leave.
If not I am sure that my Clinal Instructor will chase after me and kill me! =X
I am known as the MC Queen.
Gosh I also cannot tahan myself. -_-|||
How weak I am.
Hehe.
So I will pray to God that I will have a healthy body to embrace these attachments.

Phew,
So I have 8 weeks of major holidays afterall.
I hope I can fully utilise it to the max!
GYM!
HOHO.
Great Idea.
Not to miss running on the stadium track too!!
So anyone who is interested too please contact me if you want to be my gym mates! =]

Oh,
I almost forgot something.
I thank you for trusting me this time.
I am really happy that you can believe me.
My faith and determination is high!
So no problem this time!
Weeeeeee. ^-^
Remember to take care of yourself.
You have such a weak immune system despite of your appearance. =[
I will pray hard for you that you will be super healthy and fine when you are in the army! =]
Take things naturally and follow your feelings too once in a while.
Don't always think so much even though it is difficult for you ok? =)

For now I really looking forward to the Operating Theatre posting!!!
I want to see some GORE ACTIONS LIVE! =X
Hoho.
I wonder how bad the operating rooom will fill with the smell of BLOOD.
Will I vomit or even faint when I see the scalpel knife slice through the flesh and reveal the organs inside?
Wow!!!
I want to experience it RIGHT NOW!
I am so curious about everything of it.
Gotta brush up my skills and the knowledge to prepare for the glory week. >_<~
It is so cool to be able to step into the OT to see operation live and have the chance to assist the doctor during the operations =]
I hope the doctors are friendly enough and will not attitude me when I assist them =(
Gosh so I do have some liking towards some areas of Nursing.
I am glad that I did not waste my 3 precious years.
I was thinking whether to appeal to go Raffles Hospital for my Final 3 months posting.
It would be nice if I can try the private hospital.
Who knows I may end up liking the private hospital setting instead and start working there?

Hoho.
Nothing is impossible.
I hope I will find some passion to certain part of the Nursing.
I want to be a good nurse too.
Just like the rest =]

And I hope I can upload pictures in my blog soon again!
How awful. =[
See you. =)

Outing with my dearest PER NER to ECP and Marina Barrage.

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 15:22:00 +0000

Hello peeps!
I had a great time with them last night.
One more week and Chubby will formally go to the University.
We Jewel will miss you very much! =]

How sad.
The blog problems has not been fixed yet.
So I gotta wait till I can upload our PER NER outing photos.

So look out for it ok? =]

Update again soon.

I am on a rollercoaster ride! =X

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 03:36:00 +0000

Hey is this blog getting weirder???
I totally couldn't find the icons to change my font color and type.
How sad.

As what you can see about today's title,
Yeah.
I am on a rollercoaster ride.
Seriously my feelings are going up and down and up and down and so on very quickly.

Wow!
I am damn exhausted!

I feel so crazy,
how can I feel so happy and yet by the next minute I can feel damn gloomy and then extremely happy again? =X
But yesterday was truly a happy and sad day for me.

I PASSED MY SKILL TEST!!!
I got CVP Monitoring.
The easiest skill compared to the other 2 skills.
Congratulations to those who had passed this final skill test.
Great!
I feel so relaxed now.
No more re-test. =]

And regarding the sad thing...

I... feel so heavy again.
I can only let out a sigh.
I am getting messy again..
I always felt assured.
But the next day it was back to the old gloomy days again.
Am I having a dream?
A delusion?
Or I am just cheating myself again?

Yeah you peeps may just think that I am thinking too much and emo-ing again.
I guess but yeah.
I must not assume.

But neither should I find excuses to cover the blunt spot.
Hmm.
Maybe I shouldn't care so much about it after all.
I will just be myself.
Or else I will be suffocated to death by many things sooner or later.

Ok good..
Nothing can beat me.
I am all good =]
Yes.
After all,
this is what I have decided to do.
So I must carry on and walk down the path.
Jia you Liting.
I can tolerate it.
Persevere it.

I will update again.
See you.

I am a happy little girl. =X

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 06:06:00 +0000

It have been such a long time since I was this happy. =]

Haha..

As for why am I this happy,

I shall not disclose it totally.

My bad. =]

Hello peeps.

Thanks for reading again and I would like to thank everyone for the concern about me.

Everything is so fresh and nice again.

Beautiful memories kept popping up in my mind.

It was such a nice and gay feeling that I almost forget how nice a person can feel. =]

I thank God for it.

Thank you.

Ohh finally I get to watch Ice Age 3 [3D] with him.

Aww love those baby dinosaurs!

worth watching it. =)

He was kind enough to watch it with me even though he have already watched it with his friends.

Silly boy.

I thank you for accompanying me yesterday.

I am really enjoying it.

Even though it was a little awkward for me initially.

hoho=X

I am really happy that you love my prezzies!!.

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY TO YOU AGAIN.

Ah sorry,

everything was prepared the very last minute.

Because everything just happened so quickly within a matter of few days.

So forgive me if there is any shortcomings.

Love the clay smell hor =X

I couldn't really take it.

haha.

And for the fragrance I am super relieved that you like it.

I was super worried as i feel it was super duper risky to buy fragrance for people without knowing whether they will love such smell or not in guy point's of view.

LUCKY!

I hope that you are not saying it in order to comfort me when the fact is that you are not really keen to use it at all =[

*Cross fingers >~<

Another presentation down this morning.

Great.

I am still left with 2 presentations and a final skill test!

And off to the final semester exam!

Wow,

left one more month to go.

Well,

I am happy that everything was kinda right on track again.

Gosh..

It took me so long to be alright again.

Neyo-Part of the list

It describe my feeling for him now.

Here are the lyrics.

Style of your hair,
shape of your eyes and your nose,
the way you stare
As if you see, right through to my soul,

It's your left hand and the way
that it's not quite as big as your right,
the way you stand in the mirror
before we go out at night,

Our quiet time,
your beautiful mind,

They're a part of the list.
Things that I miss.
Things like your funny little laugh,
the way you smile or the way we kiss.

What I noticed is this:
I come up with
something new, every single time
that I sit and reminisce.

The way you sweet smell
lingers when you leave a room,
(you leave a room)
Stories you tell as we lay
in bed all afternoon.
(all afternoon)

I dreamed you now every night
in my mind is where we meet.
(my mind is where we meet)
and when I'm awake
staring at pictures of you asleep.

Touching your face,
invading you space.

They're a part of the list.
Things that I miss.
Things like your funny little laugh,
the way you smile or the way we kiss.

What I noticed is this:
I come up with
something new, every single time
that I sit and reminisce.

Oooh, and you'll live in my memories forever more I swear.
And you'll live in my memories forever more I swear.

They're a part of the list.
Things that I miss.
Things like your funny little laugh,
the way you smile, or the way we kiss.

What I noticed is this:
I come up with
something new, every single time
that I sit and reminisce.

This is my favourite song for now.

I kept repeating it.

The lyrics feel so true to me.

and it sounds so soothing.

Love it. ^-^

Oh it's time to say goodbye again.

But no worries I will update soon tomorrow regarding my skills results =]

Bless me and you.

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 14:10:00 +0000

Hello peeps.

Today is a very lonely day for me.

I feel so left out.

Because I am no longer part of his family.

While he is happy celebrating I am at home alone.

Today is so different from the past years.

Things keep changing and changing.

I wonder whether the things that I do is irritating or redundant not.

My existence seems to be disappearing slowly into thin air although I made some efforts.

Well well,

I am not that important person afterall.

Never mind.

I shall see how it goes.

Patience is the virtue.

Jia you ting.

Nothing will beat you down. =]

I just do what's the best that I can.

I will update soon again.

The ME.

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 11:04:00 +0000

Can you feel my sadness?

Old school feel.

Scary doll. =X

Paint me!

Shine me with your light.

Silence

Hello peeps.

I am here again to upload my unpublished photos =]

And by the way,

I will not go to clubs anymore so the existing clubbing photos from the previous post is taken off from my blog to prove my determination!

Haha.

I do wonder how many people are happy and sad about my decision.

I am all set.

Addie Baby told me that I am not cut out for clubbing.

Because she knew my pattern cannot control much.

I guess she is right,

So I must not go again.

I feel like I am "possessed".

I always feel so excited when I go clubbing,

but it ain't that fun at all!?

But I couldn't stop and party like crazy.

I am happy that such urges had died down now.

No more mistake.

Hmm,

I am in dilemma now.

What should I do?

I am totally looking forward to this Sunday. =X

Hee.

I am not going to tell you why..

>_<

Haha.

But I guess I need to do something about it.

Update again..

See you.

If we are meant to be, we will be.

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 03:51:00 +0000

*Happy*

*Solemn*

Oh yeah! Finally I know how to tackle this weird bug.

I have managed to find all those missing icons. [Though it's hidden]

So now I can blog to my heart's content. =]

It had been such a long time that I would sat down and blog seriously.

Many many things and events had happened to me during these 3 months.

I experienced emotions cocktail.

It was truly not a good 3 months for me.

Sad.

Angry.

Happy.

Frustrated.

Lonely.

Tired.

Irritated.

Hopeless.

Guilty.

Regretful.

What a wonderful formula for an emotions cocktail.

But well, I am glad to been through all these as it makes me feel more sensible and knowing what exactly that I wanted in Life.

I regretfully would like to apologise that things turned out to be like this.

I am at fault too.

I owed you too much.

You are really a Mr. Nice Guy.

[No inner meaning to it ok. =x]

Only that you met a Miss. Notti Girl.

If you remember what I told you that night.

Even though it is not a promise,

I feel it is way better than a promise.

I will prove it to you through time and action that

Liting.

Can also have the determination to change my shitty character and not to repeat my graving mistake again.

This shitty mistake had cost me such a high price to pay!

I will not allow it to destroy me again.

This may sound crappy to you again,

but I do learn my lesson for real.

I had lost many precious things just because of it and I wouldn't enjoy even if I do it again.

So,

I will persevere on. =]

Ok,

I think I need to plan a short term and long term goals for my battle plan.

Examples of short term goals:

Enriching my time and enjoy what I can.

Such as,

Going to the GYM!!!

Gosh!

How many precious gyming sessions have I missed.

AWW.

I wasted all my previous effort now that my stamina is poor again due to constantly being sick recently.

So angry.

Gotta restart again.

Well never mind,

I will go back to the school gym after my skill exam and skill theory test is over. =]

As for the long term goal,

Sorry peeps.

I would like to keep it a secret. =X

I think many people will laugh at me saying that I am a stupid idiot.

But well,

I do not mind because I am SELFISH too!

I am also a human.

I hope I can get what I wanted ultimately.

All I want is a simple life and someone who really love me can be by my side.

This is such a far fetch DREAM.

A dream that might not be fufilled.

Anyway,

This will be the post to keep me reminded and prevent me from side-tracking again.

I really need to have faith in what I am doing and planning right now.

I hope my energy for it will last.

I am a pessimistic person so I guess I would need to try extra harder to keep myself from thinking too much.

Just relaxed and go along with the flow,

and who knows what fruits of labour I will get at the end of the passage way. =]

If we are meant to be,

we will be.

When TIME & TRUST is to be found again,

I believe that may be the time we will be together again.

I thank God for answering my prayers and that it turned out to be better than I expected surprisingly.

Hope God will lead me to him and

God will bless you too for you are a good person.

But I do admited that you are a very SELFISH person.

But I forgive you for doing so.

Because I do understand from your point of view.

So faster change your childish perspective ok?

I wonder how long will you take. =[

Very long.

Good luck then.

And good luck to me too.

I believe in fate,

who ridiculously brought us together before.

You find it amusing too right?

It amused me while thinking back.

And sorry regarding about the Good/Best friend request that I made to you.

Maybe this is the only way to keep me on track and happy.

See.

I am SELFISH.

But you have nothing to lose. =X

How sad!

I lost the icons again.

I couldn't post new pictures of me till this posting problem is solved. =[

Never mind, I will still update my blog again soon.

See you.

What is wrong with blogger?

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 13:10:00 +0000

Gosh!

I couldn't post as what I wanted.

I think there are bugs in the blogger or something inside have crashed!

DOT..

I DON"T EVEN KNOW WHAT I TYPING!!

I can only roughly see some parts of the post.

Sad, I was so eager to come back home to blog to my heart's content and then such things happened.

Sigh. =[

I guess I will have to wait another one fine day to blog nicely again.

Sorry peeps.

I will update again once the problem is fixed.. =[

Sick!

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 07:04:00 +0000

HI PEEPS~!

I apologised for not blogging for so long.

I tried being a hardcore clubber last week and i ended up falling sick.

Gosh there are some problems uploading the pictures,

so You guys have to wait a bit longer for the photos. =]

Wednesday was a crazy night with Jq, Wz and Chub.

It was too crazy till they were scared of me.

Last week I was a REBEL/ZIRCA regular.

Ended up going there on Wed, Thurs and Sat.

Hardcore clubbing till I am down with flu-like symptoms.

Since Sun.

Those who club with me if you start to get unwell please do inform me too.

Finally went to see doc this morning.

Doc wants me to observe for 1 2 days,

If I still didn't improve then I guess I have to call 993 to ask ambulance to fetch me go hospital.

Hope it's a false alarm.

Haha.

My sore throat was very bad.

That's what the doc told me.

No wonder my throat hurt like hell. =[

People do wish me well ok.

I still have a lot of things to do and projects to rush.

I can't afford to fall.

How sad.

I gonna miss going out for awhile.

Shut Out Day.

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Thu, 28 May 2009 13:24:00 +0000

Today is a Shut Out Day for me.
Listen to EMO songs.
Totally enjoy it till I would like to share with everyone! =]

Occupy my mind with Sad Songs.

Love or Hate my iPhone? I wonder.

How about some cold, straight look?

There are 2 person in ME.
[Gosh I accidentally reflect on the puzzle! Feels like I am sadly looking upon it. Indeed.]

You are so FAR away from me.

Shut my World with my tiny hand.

In order to smile again.

Hence I will slowly shut my world till I wouldn't be hurt again.
For those who does not know what I am talking about,
the puzzle is given by him during our 1st year anniversary.
I mentioned it before in my old post.

Lily Allen- Littlest Things

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Sun, 24 May 2009 09:55:00 +0000

This song that is playing right now really fits me and him,
my mood and my emotions.
Enjoy.

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I don't why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

[Chorus]
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed
Watching DVD's
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
the first time that you introduced me to your friends
and you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
when I was feeling down, you made that face you do
no one in the world who could replace you

[Chorus]
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Excuses!!!

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Sun, 24 May 2009 08:51:00 +0000

WOW!
I am indeed so naive.
HAHA.
Everything are just excuses.
Soon, everything is going to be over.
I shall see what you have to say.
I finally realised it.

I think I am really a one big fool.
But,
the table has turned.
I ain't a FOOL anymore!!
Save it!
MR NICE GUY!!
TRY HARDER!
You are just buying yourself some time to make yourself looks nicer.
Yeah you can say I am assuming things.
Correct me then.
If not,
just save it.

HAH!
Sure I do already know the outcome.
After all I am NOT THAT important.
Enjoy all you want.
You will regret it for not choosing me instead of other factors sh**

Exercise! =]

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Wed, 20 May 2009 13:21:00 +0000

AH!
Finally I am determined enough to exercise in order to slim down.
I was afraid that my legs would become even bigger,
because my legs tends to swell after exercising or walking for long hours.

But now,
I wanted to give it a try again.
I was thinking that in the past I may be exercising for a short time only,
so there's maybe isn't sufficient time to burn my leg's fats. [Hope that it is not oedema]

Suddenly,
I feel the strong urge of going to the gym when I heard that Mich and Gaya are going today.
Somehow I feel that it will be good if I join them.

And guess what?
Straight away I went to the school arcade mall to buy sports shorts and a sport shoes carrier,
and immediately I cab home to change into my sport gears.
Everything happened so quickly!

HAHA.
I wanted to laugh at myself.
What am I doing?
I am being so implusive.
Will I regret?
But I am glad that I have done it. =]

It was fun!
Been such a looooooong time since i last exercised,
I feel so refreshing though tired.
My whole face flushed like mad!
It was so red that I laugh at myself.

It was worthwhile,
to train my stamina.
Seeing how good my friend's stamina makes me feel so encouraged,
so I have to make sure that this new flame will not die out that easily!

Hoho.
It was really difficult for me because I do admit that I am really lazy. =X
But I gonna work out on the average of 3 times per week.

Overdoing it is bad,
So for someone with such lousy stamina like me,
I guess this should do it.

Perhap God is helping me to change and this could make me feel stronger and healthy.
Greatly appreciated and I hope I will be a better person.
And maybe focusing on sliming down and training stamina could clear my mind and worries at the present. =]

I really do hope all this do works out fine for me.

Oh ya,
not to forget about the 200 sit up per day that I gonna catch up.
Been years since I do that.
Missing my flat and lined tummy.
Good luck to me. ^-^

And I will not be late for gym early in the morning 8.30am tomorrow.
I am feeling excited for the "NEW" me to be.
So!

Good night everybody!!!

Love~

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Tue, 19 May 2009 14:45:00 +0000

Gosh I love this picture!

Love is when you look into someone's eyes,

AND SEE everything you need.

I am waiting for mine. =[

Centre me. =X

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Tue, 19 May 2009 11:15:00 +0000

Hello all.

This is my centre me look. =X

How hilarious!

Been such a looooong time since I tried it.

Since I got nothing to do.

Lalalalala~

Comment if you want. =]

How awful to have the cold sore being so obvious on my lip.

sad =[

See!

Too stressed up already.

Hope that I will recover soon and take more pictures!!

And!!!!

I almost forgot,

I have passed both of my skill tests!!!

WOW.

How stressful,

my heart nearly pop out while waiting for my turn to be tested.

Gosh,

thankfully I prayed hard and it turned out well =]

A happy week for me I guessed.

Hehe.

And today's presentation also turned out to be good.

First presentation of the semester.

Ohh I was so nervous,

I was the one who did the opening.

Been such a long time since I last presented and the room was so quiet !!

All the best to me in the upcoming presentations! ^-^

Love you all,

Do come back for new posts.

Will update soon about my One Night Stand with Jac Darling!!!

Smooch.

4th Week Without Him

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Wed, 13 May 2009 14:06:00 +0000

Time really doesn't wait for anyone.

It's already the 4th week without him.

But my heart still has not change.

I did not waver.

I put this as a test for myself too,

whether my endurance or my love for him is that strong or not.

It surprises me.

I am still doing good,

and standing strong.

Even though you told me to forget your existence,

but I wouldn't.

I will persevere till I find a full stop.

As saying goes:

An ending marks a new beginning.

I will hold on to this to keep me strong.

Many people told me that I am silly to wait for someone as heartless like him,

who doesn't even make a call to me or even an sms.

But I would like to put faith on him and on our love.

I know he has his reason for standing strong for not contacting me,

But sometimes when people told me that he did not contact you because he had got over you.

This have shook me hard.

Because I feel like I am in a long, cold and dark tunnel,

searching for my light to exit to my fantasy world.

What a long journey,

I thought.

Where is the light of my life?

Where he will look at my face silently and stroke my hair while I was sleeping soundly.

I miss everything of him.

His hands,

where he will sometimes pat me to sleep.

His face,

where I will stroke with my hand,

His hair,

where I will gently brush with my fingers.

His eyes,

where I will secretly look upon while he was concentrating doing his things.

His back,

where I watch sliently and admiringly through all these years.

Massage him when he is feeling exhausted.

Hold him in my arms when he wants to be cuddled.

His voice is that I miss the most,

Saying things softly into my ears that had made me feel so happy and sweet.

I miss the times where I will lie on his bed looking into the sky through his room window.

Such calm and soothing feelings.

I will never forget..

Now dreaming of him is the only way that I can see him talk and move.

I feel so pathetic now.

Tears never seems to stop.

They come every now and then.

Everything reminds me of him.

Sometimes when I hear the engine of the bike,

I would thought that it might be him.

But it would never happen.

All these are my wishful thinkings.

Even though I am not supposed to wait and assume,

but I can't help it.

Facing everything alone can be so frightening and lonely.

My wish is to go back to Semba**** happily with him again.

Sis and Allen 9th year anniversary.

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Mon, 11 May 2009 08:58:00 +0000

Wonderful!

My sister and her boyfriend have been together for 9 years!

Oh! How envy.

I wish I could have a boyfriend who would love me that much too. =]

By the way the photos are not in order.

The end photos are actually the beginning shots.

Below this were the ending part photos instead.

I am lazy to organize.

I went with them as a light bulb photographer and my grandma went to accompany me.

Off to Fullerton Hotel !!!

Me, the photographer. (casual style taking)

Oh my hair was so long. =X

Sisters.

Desserts!

With flash on.

Grandma and sis.

Allen and Grandma.

Pasta section! Cook on the spot for you.

The buffet area. [Sorry, it was blur.]

Happy them. =]

Candid!

Desserts again. =]

I ask him to act out for me. Ahhh!

LOL! Those 2 love to act.

My turn! Yum!

Candid.

Sea coconut dessert.

ME ME

Grandma and me

Me again.

Buffet time!

Allen

Grandma

That's all!

Bye Bye.

My World Has Fallen...

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Thu, 07 May 2009 10:33:00 +0000

Crap.

My WORLD has fallen on me.

I don't know if this is a challenge for me to be better from God

Or is it that I am sabotaged by The Devil.

I am really going bonkers!!!

I feel so stress up now!

So tired.

While I thought everything seems to be better,

idiots things just happened to me.

My laptop just die on me for real this time,

I wonder is I stress or sick or too late then sleep,

I am not sure!

I got the COLD SORE on my mouth again.

I HATE IT!! AGAIN FOR THE THIRD TIME!!!

This shows that I am too worn out.

Why should I experience such things in such a crucial year?

I broke down again today.

Those dreams of him kept going on in my bloody mind every night.

It makes feel me more depressed that why should I get this kind of shit from him.

Heartless man that ruined me.

Yet I miss him so much that while consiously I am not thinking of him,

subconsiously I am thinking of him till like mad that I will dreamt of him.

Help me God.

My frail heart and mind are suffering.

I need miracles.

Shitty shit,

I got so many projects to do,

Now I still got to use my living room desktop.

All the files are gone..

Haiz.

What people said is true.

Once you start to get unlucky,

you will be so unlucky continuously!

I nearly exploded.

I couldn't contain my anger, frustrations and sadness.

Even my laptop has left me and giving troubles to me.

I am left with nothing.

Somehow I felt this way.

I broke down again.

I thought I wouldn't cry anymore,

as I don't have a feeling to cry these few days.

I've failed again.

I just want a simple life,

love by the one that I love.

Be happy,

Graduate,

either work or futher studies,

These goals and dreams seems so far from me.

Why can't the person love me back?

Love has faded.

Gosh,

what is that?

My mouth is gonna suffer for half a month or more!!!

I feel so sick and rotten.

Like a rotten apple that continue to rot and got forsaken.

Once a brightly colored red apple.

I feel so disappointed in so many things.

I can't even describe it.

I can only cry and laugh at myself.

that's all.

How powerless I am.

How useless I am.

Is his love for me is JUST so great?

How disppointing.

Unfortunate event that happened to us in Dempsey Hill =[

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Tue, 05 May 2009 13:47:00 +0000

Most of the post are extracted from Jac's blog.(Edited)
Lazy to type.
My apologies.
But the anger and the feelings are the same.
WA RAO!!!!
I WANT TO COMPLAIN!!!!

Sat The 4 of us went to Dempsey Hill.
Yeah!!
It's our favourite place!!! (Used to be)

We reached there about 9.30pm.
Settled ourselves finally!!!
Always crowded there.

Then, Jac went to order milkshake!!!
And I headed by to the seat with my ice mocha first.
Jac came back to her seat,
There was a old lady(Indian?)
wearing pink top.
She took Jac's seat.

Okay!
At first all of us was thinking that she is old and probably tired or smth.
So we didn't chase her away till Jac come back thought that she might surrender.

Then
Jac walked up to her,
"hmm, hi? sorry, this seat is taken."
Then GUESS WHAT??
This indian lady start screaming and asking her.
"Got your name?"
"No."
Then she continue sitting.

LOL?
All 4 of us STUNT!
Where got such uncivilized ppl!!!??!!
Already at 60 plus in age YET!
behave like 6.

Then again,
"Sorry, we had this table together with the seat long ago."
"Merely went to get smth plus my friends were right here."
Me and wt trying to explain for Jac....
"Tell me got your name?"
"Is free seating what."
"Don't have your name right? Then U ALL SHUT UP!"
WA RAO!!!
I wonder she goes to school?
Anybody taught her basic manner?
We just could believe our eyes and ears!
Then Chub cant take it alr.
He stood up for Jac.
And tell her to be more reasonable.
But she just ignore and seat there like some queen.
PUI!

Then we try our luck again.
Jac tapped on her shoulder as she was ignoring us, thinking she might have some hearing problem? We don knw?
Then again!!!
"HEY! U TOUCH ME I WANT TO SUE YOU!
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!"
ZZZ!!!

Totally cant take it anymore.
Then the 4 of us plus her start screaming!
And GUESS WHAT!!!
There aint a single staff there to make peace or help us.
For 15 mins like that can???!!!??
NONE!

Finally, a guy(the staff) walk forward and ask what happened.
Chub tell him what happened.
And obviously not us looking for trouble.
AND PLS!
We always visit and chill there.
Why would us do that?

Then as usual luh,
that lady keep scolding and screaming.
This time her husband walk over.
SO, she was a "BA EE SENG" wife.
That "BA EE SENG" scolded chub.
He can actually ask chub to talk like a proper man and look who chub is talking to.
A LADY!
WA RAO!!!
PLS LOH!

Then chub told him that this table and seat is taken.
Plus they were there all the while.
Nobody leave that table alone and empty.

GUESS WHAT THE HELL THIS BEN AND JERRY GUY SAID?
HE SCREAM AT US!!!
"HEY! LOOK! IF YOU WANT TO FIGHT GO OUT AND FIGHT!!"
LOL?
Double stunt!

Just because those "BA EE SENG" are rich?
So rich can be demanding luh?
Can sue ppl anyhow?
Can no law?
She is govt?
Can scream like a lion?

After this incident,
I realise, NO!
WE REALISE!
this world is so freaking practical.
MONEY TALKS!
MONEY WINS!

Jac have already lodge a complain to ben and jerry.
I am so going to tell all my friends about it.
We are seriously disappointed in ben and jerry.
So this is the best to peace thing out?
Just because we are younger?
And we are chinese?
We are singaporean?

No matter how educated you are but you are chinese and singaporean and poorer,
Still lose out in the sociatey.

And thanks for that.
Thanks that ben and jerry big guy.

After that he gave us a slice of cake.
HELLO?
IS LIKE WHAT's THE USE MAN?
The first move is a mistake alr!!!
what does that cake means?
TO WARN US NOT TO TELL PPL?
FORGET ABOUT IT?
Just because we are chinese, and this is the way to be treated?
DAMN.

Or isit because those "BA EE SENG" gave you problems and you could vent anger on us?
So this is life.

Chinese.
Sinagporean.
Poorer.

What's the point of having tourism management bla bla bla in polytechinics when us the SINAGPOREANs aint getting the same service as the tourists?

How disappointing.
TSK TSK TSK!

How sad! Such services is he providing us, If he could handle this more properly we wouldn't be smirked at by the old woman that that time, saying that we are the ones to shut up!

How irritating.
In our whole life we have never met such arrogant person before!
What an eye opener.
LOL.

After that we went to AMK forest Mac to have our supper.
This incident became our new Joke of the year!
Congrats old woman.

Update soon,
Meeting up again for steamboat tommorrow.
Love you all per ners =]

Nightmares!

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Sun, 03 May 2009 05:12:00 +0000

Recently,
I have began my nightmare routine.
Just like the past,
that hurtful past.
I will everyday dream of it,
and it is always a bad dream.
Now,
It has happened again.
Just that the lead had changed to another person..
Horrible..
I would woke up panting and panting.
Just like this morning.
How long will this nightmare season continue?
I feel so lonely and scared,
because there is no one to help me to chase off my nightmares anymore.

The day before yesterday I had reluctantly BAD someone in MSN
BAD=Blocked And Deleted
for those who don't know what am I talking about.
Well I am positive that the person also BAD me.
Leave me no choice.
A sorry to you.

Oh I will update soon about my meeting with my per ners.
Full of emotions!
Angry , Sad, Happy, Laughters. =]

So now gotta rush my 4 projects?
or even more?
Anyways,
tata~

Rainy Day

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 06:49:00 +0000

ChikabaBoom!
That's how I describe the thunder.
Haha. I guess only him will understand this and laugh at me.

Today is a gloomy rainy Sunday.
The sky is so grey..
So me.

I didn't realised that actually we had made so many memories together.
When you lose him,
Then you get to realise those beautiful things.
Such precious memories.
I will treasure it deep down in my heart.

I told Wei Ting last night that I am confused also.
By the way,
I would like to thank you gal for accompanying me till sooooooooo late. =]
Well,
Am I really that confused?
No,
I don't think so.
YA,
I just realised I am still very firm!
HAHA.
I sounded so pathetic.

I gonna change.
No more mood swings and giving nonsense attitude.
All for the better!

Love is so hard to maintain.
Just like flying a kite.
If you pull too hard,
the string will snap.
If you pull too lightly,
the kite will fly away along with the wind.

If God will give us a chance again.
I will make sure that all these nonsense will never ever happen again.

But,
My trust..
For him...
Had also shattered.
Promises are really nothing.
It's so fragile.
Like love.

But I do believe..
If you add perseverance to the promise,
you can sure get to keep the promise.

I am happy there's one promise till now or even in the future that I will not break it.
I am sure that he knows what is it.

I really do wish
**** ** ** *** **** **** ******** ** **** ***** ** ***** ******* ******.

Fate 'O' Fate.
How mysterious you are.
You made me so excited,
you made me so sad.
You made me so eager,
and you made me so calm.
How wonderful you are.

I believe every meeting there's bound to have parting.
But there is parting so that there is to have a meeting again.

So I am not afraid of parting,
because I trust that there is a meeting again. =]
Whether of what we have become.

Life is so short.
I not going to crashed it again.

All the time I am thinking of what he is doing or where he is at.
Or whether is he thinking about me or not.
But the determination he had shown me is so great that,
my urges to know all this had creased.
Amazing.
Guess my determination became strong too.
Time will come.

I would like to thank all for your couraging advices.
I will be good.
Because I learnt it the first time.
So it came in handy for the second time now.
NO MORE THIRD TIME!

Oh ya.
I will pray for his dad to have a speedy recovery after his second operation on thursday.
I think he is in normal ward now.
May God bless you, Uncle.
Rest more ok.
Don't be so eager to get back to work.
Your body really do need a lot of rest after the major operation.
Take care.

It's a weekend!

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 08:29:00 +0000

Oh finally it's friday!
So 5 days of school days are already over.
Time really doesn't wait for anyone. =[
Year 3 is really a busy and a hectic year for me.
I wonder whether is it coincidence,
or unlucky for me that everytime when the year is important for me,
I get a shock of my life.
The previous time is Secondary 5,
while I was taking my 'O' levels.
Horrible horrible.
Such crucial time.
It happened again.

But well ,
that makes me grow up,
whether is it about the mistakes or experiences,
I take it all seriously and kept it in my mind and heart.

After the broke up,
I really do some serious thinking about our relationship,
my studies, my friends.
This really made me think hard.
Something is really wrong with me,
That I would actually get this the SECOND time.
Be it Karma or other things.
My mind seems to be clearer,
upon my actions.
This broke up lesson really cost me too much.
I have lost and gained something along the way.

I became more tactical towards things that I need to handle.

Even though it only happened a few days ago,
but I felt that was so long ago.
I have learnt so much.
I would like to thank you instead.

Thank you.

Think differently and the answers can turned out to be so much different.
Amazing.
Simplifed matters can be complicated,
while complicated matters can be just so.. simple.

Even though I would say let Nature take it's course,
but you still need a little effort to make things happen.
Somehow I became someone that thinks of taking one step at a time and
somehow he became me.
We switched.

How strange,
But people just keep changing.
I should have known.
All the while there are so many hintings that are already warning me,
I am blind afterall.
LOL.

I really don't know how things will turned out to be.
Only God knows.

For now I am seriously doing some reflections..
Trying to kill all the brain cells and squeezing all my brain juice.
If he don't appreciate me,
so be it.

Time will tell.
I believe.
How determined I am.
I will prove you dead wrong.

2nd Day..

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 10:43:00 +0000

Today is the second day since the incident break up..
I was trying my best to stay happy in school as today is my first day going to school.
Being in school do divert my attention for abit.
I thought that I am good today,
I wasn't crying anymore.
But I still end up crying while waiting for my next lab lesson.
Whatever I do, I see, I talk, I hear, I think, I feel, I miss...
It's all about..
Him.

Now the only thing that I enjoy is blogging.
Looking at all my past entries posts had made me feel that I am growing more and more matured.
More and more grown up.
The way I use words to express myself in the post are no longer the same.
People really do change all the time.
There's nothing you can trust.
Nothing.
Not promises.
Not vows.
There's really no guarantee to anything.
I am so confused..
All these might make me into depression.
Soon.
I blame myself.
For not being a good person,
a good girlfriend,
a guai girl girl.
Karma had hit me not once but twice.
I am so rotten.
I am confused upon love and overly dependent.
It connects,
But I also think that overly dependent also can be call as longing.
Everything is so connected till I really don't know what exactly it means anymore.

I couldn't sleep well last night.
I woke up 5 times.
on and off.
Even though I am feeling so tired.
Guess I am too stress out.
I didn't even dream.
I am a frequent dreamer.
You dream when you slept well.
But I guess I wouldn't have any dreams anytime soon.

I am surprised that I have lost weight about 2kg in just one single day.
Being too stressed and sad really do thin you down.
I am trying to eat.
For someone sake.
Trying.

I would like to thank all my those who has been showing me concern for these 2 days.
I really appreciated it alot.
You guys has given me many love and concern.
I am happy that I am actually wanted.
Thank-you again people.
=]

Will update soon.
Tommorrow maybe?

Reminiscence of our good 'O days.

noreply@blogger.com (tingting) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 11:18:00 +0000

I have read all the message history with him in my msn folder moments ago.
I was smiling and giggling unconsiously while reading through it.
It was such a sweet and bliss feeling that I could never describe it.
How nice to reminiscence of our past,
where there are little quarrels and happy moments.

But reality strikes me back again,
thinking that it's all in the past when I read his very current chat log with me.
Telling me all the things I couldn't believe.
I really wonder why it has come to this?
the final test,
had made me so afraid.
It have been such a long time since I feel so lonely and helpless.
Why promise me that you will not leave me though you couldn't do it?
I really don't know when my crying is going to stop.
When I think of the answer I gonna face I will shiver and fear.
More than butterflies and moths,
which is a big threat to me.
Everything seems like a illusions,
like nothing had happened before.
When my nightmare is gonna finish this time.
Help me.