Shut Out Day.

Today is a Shut Out Day for me.
Listen to EMO songs.
Totally enjoy it till I would like to share with everyone! =]

Occupy my mind with Sad Songs.

Love or Hate my iPhone? I wonder.

How about some cold, straight look?

There are 2 person in ME.
[Gosh I accidentally reflect on the puzzle! Feels like I am sadly looking upon it. Indeed.]

You are so FAR away from me.

Shut my World with my tiny hand.

In order to smile again.

Hence I will slowly shut my world till I wouldn't be hurt again.
For those who does not know what I am talking about,
the puzzle is given by him during our 1st year anniversary.
I mentioned it before in my old post.

Lily Allen- Littlest Things

This song that is playing right now really fits me and him,
my mood and my emotions.
Enjoy.

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I don't why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

[Chorus]
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed
Watching DVD's
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
the first time that you introduced me to your friends
and you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
when I was feeling down, you made that face you do
no one in the world who could replace you

[Chorus]
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Excuses!!!

WOW!
I am indeed so naive.
HAHA.
Everything are just excuses.
Soon, everything is going to be over.
I shall see what you have to say.
I finally realised it.

I think I am really a one big fool.
But,
the table has turned.
I ain't a FOOL anymore!!
Save it!
MR NICE GUY!!
TRY HARDER!
You are just buying yourself some time to make yourself looks nicer.
Yeah you can say I am assuming things.
Correct me then.
If not,
just save it.

HAH!
Sure I do already know the outcome.
After all I am NOT THAT important.
Enjoy all you want.
You will regret it for not choosing me instead of other factors sh**

Exercise! =]

AH!
Finally I am determined enough to exercise in order to slim down.
I was afraid that my legs would become even bigger,
because my legs tends to swell after exercising or walking for long hours.


But now,
I wanted to give it a try again.
I was thinking that in the past I may be exercising for a short time only,
so there's maybe isn't sufficient time to burn my leg's fats. [Hope that it is not oedema]


Suddenly,
I feel the strong urge of going to the gym when I heard that Mich and Gaya are going today.
Somehow I feel that it will be good if I join them.


And guess what?
Straight away I went to the school arcade mall to buy sports shorts and a sport shoes carrier,
and immediately I cab home to change into my sport gears.
Everything happened so quickly!


HAHA.
I wanted to laugh at myself.
What am I doing?
I am being so implusive.
Will I regret?
But I am glad that I have done it. =]


It was fun!
Been such a looooooong time since i last exercised,
I feel so refreshing though tired.
My whole face flushed like mad!
It was so red that I laugh at myself.


It was worthwhile,
to train my stamina.
Seeing how good my friend's stamina makes me feel so encouraged,
so I have to make sure that this new flame will not die out that easily!


Hoho.
It was really difficult for me because I do admit that I am really lazy. =X
But I gonna work out on the average of 3 times per week.


Overdoing it is bad,
So for someone with such lousy stamina like me,
I guess this should do it.


Perhap God is helping me to change and this could make me feel stronger and healthy.
Greatly appreciated and I hope I will be a better person.
And maybe focusing on sliming down and training stamina could clear my mind and worries at the present. =]


I really do hope all this do works out fine for me.


Oh ya,
not to forget about the 200 sit up per day that I gonna catch up.
Been years since I do that.
Missing my flat and lined tummy.
Good luck to me. ^-^


And I will not be late for gym early in the morning 8.30am tomorrow.
I am feeling excited for the "NEW" me to be.
So!


Good night everybody!!!

Love~

Gosh I love this picture!

Love is when you look into someone's eyes,

AND SEE everything you need.

I am waiting for mine. =[

Centre me. =X

Hello all.

This is my centre me look. =X

How hilarious!

Been such a looooong time since I tried it.

Since I got nothing to do.

Lalalalala~

Comment if you want. =]

How awful to have the cold sore being so obvious on my lip.

sad =[

See!

Too stressed up already.

Hope that I will recover soon and take more pictures!!

And!!!!

I almost forgot,

I have passed both of my skill tests!!!

WOW.

How stressful,

my heart nearly pop out while waiting for my turn to be tested.

Gosh, 

thankfully I prayed hard and it turned out well =]

A happy week for me I guessed.

Hehe.

And today's presentation also turned out to be good.

First presentation of the semester.

Ohh I was so nervous,

I was the one who did the opening.

Been such a long time since I last presented and the room was so quiet !!

All the best to me in the upcoming presentations! ^-^

Love you all,

Do come back for new posts.

Will update soon about my One Night Stand with Jac Darling!!! 

Smooch. 

4th Week Without Him

Time really doesn't wait for anyone.

It's already the 4th week without him.

But my heart still has not change.

I did not waver.

I put this as a test for myself too,

whether my endurance or my love for him is that strong or not.

It surprises me.

I am still doing good,

and standing strong.

Even though you told me to forget your existence,

but I wouldn't.

I will persevere till I find a full stop.

As saying goes:

An ending marks a new beginning.

I will hold on to this to keep me strong.

Many people told me that I am silly to wait for someone as heartless like him,

who doesn't even make a call to me or even an sms.

But I would like to put faith on him and on our love.

I know he has his reason for standing strong for not contacting me,

But sometimes when people told me that he did not contact you because he had got over you.

This have shook me hard.

Because I feel like I am in a long, cold and dark tunnel,

searching for my light to exit to my fantasy world.

What a long journey, 

I thought.

Where is the light of my life?

Where he will look at my face silently and stroke my hair while I was sleeping soundly.

I miss everything of him.

His hands,

where he will sometimes pat me to sleep.

His face,

 where I will stroke with my hand,

His hair, 

where I will gently brush with my fingers.

His eyes,

where I will secretly look upon while he was concentrating doing his things.

His back,

where I watch sliently and admiringly through all these years.

Massage him when he is feeling exhausted.

Hold him in my arms when he wants to be cuddled.

His voice is that I miss the most,

Saying things softly into my ears that had made me feel so happy and sweet.

I miss the times where I will lie on his bed looking into the sky through his room window.

Such calm and soothing feelings.

I will never forget..

Now dreaming of him is the only way that I can see him talk and move.

I feel so pathetic now.

Tears never seems to stop.

They come every now and then.

Everything reminds me of him.

Sometimes when I hear the engine of the bike,

I would thought that it might be him.

But it would never happen.

All these are my wishful thinkings.

Even though I am not supposed to wait and assume,

but I can't help it.

Facing everything alone can be so frightening and lonely.

My wish is to go back to Semba**** happily with him again.

Sis and Allen 9th year anniversary.

Wonderful!

My sister and her boyfriend have been together for 9 years!

Oh! How envy.

I wish I could have a boyfriend who would love me that much too. =]

By the way the photos are not in order.

The end photos are actually the beginning shots.

Below this were the ending part photos instead.

I am lazy to organize.

I went with them as a light bulb photographer and my grandma went to accompany me.

Off to Fullerton Hotel !!!

Me, the photographer. (casual style taking)

Oh my hair was so long. =X

Sisters.

Desserts!

With flash on.

Grandma and sis.

Allen and Grandma.

Pasta section! Cook on the spot for you.

The buffet area. [Sorry, it was blur.]

Happy them. =]

Candid!

Desserts again. =]

I ask him to act out for me. Ahhh!

LOL! Those 2 love to act.

My turn! Yum!

Candid.

Sea coconut dessert.

ME ME

Grandma and me

Me again.

Buffet time!

Allen

Grandma

That's all!

Bye Bye.

My World Has Fallen...

Crap.

My WORLD has fallen on me.

I don't know if this is a challenge for me to be better from God 

Or is it that I am sabotaged by The Devil.

I am really going bonkers!!!

I feel so stress up now!

So tired.

While I thought everything seems to be better,

idiots things just happened to me.

My laptop just die on me for real this time,

I wonder is I stress or sick or too late then sleep,

I am not sure!

I got the COLD SORE on my mouth again.

I HATE IT!! AGAIN FOR THE THIRD TIME!!!

This shows that I am too worn out.

Why should I experience such things in such a crucial year?

I broke down again today.

Those dreams of him kept going on in my bloody mind every night.

It makes feel me more depressed that why should I get this kind of shit from him.

Heartless man that ruined me.

Yet I miss him so much that while consiously I am not thinking of him,

subconsiously I am thinking of him till like mad that I will dreamt of him.

Help me God.

My frail heart and mind are suffering.

I need miracles.

Shitty shit,

I got so many projects to do,

Now I still got to use my living room desktop.

All the files are gone..

Haiz.

What people said is true.

Once you start to get unlucky,

you will be so unlucky continuously!

I nearly exploded.

I couldn't contain my anger, frustrations and sadness.

Even my laptop has left me and giving troubles to me.

I am left with nothing.

Somehow I felt this way.

I broke down again.

I thought I wouldn't cry anymore,

as I don't have a feeling to cry these few days.

I've failed again.

I just want a simple life,

love by the one that I love.

Be happy,

Graduate,

either work or futher studies,

These goals and dreams seems so far from me.

Why can't the person love me back?

Love has faded.

Gosh,

what is that?

My mouth is gonna suffer for half a month or more!!!

I feel so sick and rotten.

Like a rotten apple that continue to rot and got forsaken.

Once a brightly colored red apple.

I feel so disappointed in so many things.

I can't even describe it.

I can only cry and laugh at myself.

that's all.

How powerless I am.

How useless I am.

Is his love for me is JUST so great?

How disppointing.

Unfortunate event that happened to us in Dempsey Hill =[

Most of the post are extracted from Jac's blog.(Edited)
Lazy to type.
My apologies.
But the anger and the feelings are the same.
WA RAO!!!!
I WANT TO COMPLAIN!!!!

Sat The 4 of us went to Dempsey Hill.
Yeah!!
It's our favourite place!!! (Used to be)

We reached there about 9.30pm.
Settled ourselves finally!!!
Always crowded there.

Then, Jac went to order milkshake!!!
And I headed by to the seat with my ice mocha first.
Jac came back to her seat,
There was a old lady(Indian?)
wearing pink top.
She took Jac's seat.

Okay!
At first all of us was thinking that she is old and probably tired or smth.
So we didn't chase her away till Jac come back thought that she might surrender.

Then
Jac walked up to her,
"hmm, hi? sorry, this seat is taken."
Then GUESS WHAT??
This indian lady start screaming and asking her.
"Got your name?"
"No."
Then she continue sitting.

LOL?
All 4 of us STUNT!
Where got such uncivilized ppl!!!??!!
Already at 60 plus in age YET!
behave like 6.

Then again,
"Sorry, we had this table together with the seat long ago."
"Merely went to get smth plus my friends were right here."
Me and wt trying to explain for Jac....
"Tell me got your name?"
"Is free seating what."
"Don't have your name right? Then U ALL SHUT UP!"
WA RAO!!!
I wonder she goes to school?
Anybody taught her basic manner?
We just could believe our eyes and ears!
Then Chub cant take it alr.
He stood up for Jac.
And tell her to be more reasonable.
But she just ignore and seat there like some queen.
PUI!

Then we try our luck again.
Jac tapped on her shoulder as she was ignoring us, thinking she might have some hearing problem? We don knw?
Then again!!!
"HEY! U TOUCH ME I WANT TO SUE YOU!
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!"
ZZZ!!!

Totally cant take it anymore.
Then the 4 of us plus her start screaming!
And GUESS WHAT!!!
There aint a single staff there to make peace or help us.
For 15 mins like that can???!!!??
NONE!

Finally, a guy(the staff) walk forward and ask what happened.
Chub tell him what happened.
And obviously not us looking for trouble.
AND PLS!
We always visit and chill there.
Why would us do that?

Then as usual luh,
that lady keep scolding and screaming.
This time her husband walk over.
SO, she was a "BA EE SENG" wife.
That "BA EE SENG" scolded chub.
He can actually ask chub to talk like a proper man and look who chub is talking to.
A LADY!
WA RAO!!!
PLS LOH!

Then chub told him that this table and seat is taken.
Plus they were there all the while.
Nobody leave that table alone and empty.

GUESS WHAT THE HELL THIS BEN AND JERRY GUY SAID?
HE SCREAM AT US!!!
"HEY! LOOK! IF YOU WANT TO FIGHT GO OUT AND FIGHT!!"
LOL?
Double stunt!

Just because those "BA EE SENG" are rich?
So rich can be demanding luh?
Can sue ppl anyhow?
Can no law?
She is govt?
Can scream like a lion?

After this incident,
I realise, NO!
WE REALISE!
this world is so freaking practical.
MONEY TALKS!
MONEY WINS!

Jac have already lodge a complain to ben and jerry.
I am so going to tell all my friends about it.
We are seriously disappointed in ben and jerry.
So this is the best to peace thing out?
Just because we are younger?
And we are chinese?
We are singaporean?

No matter how educated you are but you are chinese and singaporean and poorer,
Still lose out in the sociatey.

And thanks for that.
Thanks that ben and jerry big guy.

After that he gave us a slice of cake.
HELLO?
IS LIKE WHAT's THE USE MAN?
The first move is a mistake alr!!!
what does that cake means?
TO WARN US NOT TO TELL PPL?
FORGET ABOUT IT?
Just because we are chinese, and this is the way to be treated?
DAMN.

Or isit because those "BA EE SENG" gave you problems and you could vent anger on us?
So this is life.

Chinese.
Sinagporean.
Poorer.

What's the point of having tourism management bla bla bla in polytechinics when us the SINAGPOREANs aint getting the same service as the tourists?

How disappointing.
TSK TSK TSK!

How sad! Such services is he providing us, If he could handle this more properly we wouldn't be smirked at by the old woman that that time, saying that we are the ones to shut up!

How irritating.
In our whole life we have never met such arrogant person before!
What an eye opener.
LOL.

After that we went to AMK forest Mac to have our supper.
This incident became our new Joke of the year!
Congrats old woman.

Update soon,
Meeting up again for steamboat tommorrow.
Love you all per ners =]

Nightmares!

Recently,
I have began my nightmare routine.
Just like the past,
that hurtful past.
I will everyday dream of it,
and it is always a bad dream.
Now,
It has happened again.
Just that the lead had changed to another person..
Horrible..
I would woke up panting and panting.
Just like this morning.
How long will this nightmare season continue?
I feel so lonely and scared,
because there is no one to help me to chase off my nightmares anymore.

The day before yesterday I had reluctantly BAD someone in MSN
BAD=Blocked And Deleted
for those who don't know what am I talking about.
Well I am positive that the person also BAD me.
Leave me no choice.
A sorry to you.

Oh I will update soon about my meeting with my per ners.
Full of emotions!
Angry , Sad, Happy, Laughters. =]

So now gotta rush my 4 projects?
or even more?
Anyways,
tata~