Reminiscence of our good 'O days.

I have read all the message history with him in my msn folder moments ago.
I was smiling and giggling unconsiously while reading through it.
It was such a sweet and bliss feeling that I could never describe it.
How nice to reminiscence of our past,
where there are little quarrels and happy moments.

But reality strikes me back again,
thinking that it's all in the past when I read his very current chat log with me.
Telling me all the things I couldn't believe.
I really wonder why it has come to this?
the final test,
had made me so afraid.
It have been such a long time since I feel so lonely and helpless.
Why promise me that you will not leave me though you couldn't do it?
I really don't know when my crying is going to stop.
When I think of the answer I gonna face I will shiver and fear.
More than butterflies and moths,
which is a big threat to me.
Everything seems like a illusions,
like nothing had happened before.
When my nightmare is gonna finish this time.
Help me.